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A Bed of Deeper Pleasure

This was a letter/ poem written to a beautiful young black girl

who worked for an advertising company.
We met at a trade show and I gave her my card.
She called me before the end of the day and asked me to go out with her that evening.

I agreed.
We went to dinner and had a wonderful meal and conversation.

She was from Los Angeles and just beginning to adventure in the world.
After dinner, we walked along the San Francisco Bay, and she invited me to her room.
I passed.

It was strange, even to me, that I did so.
It wasn't that I did not want her,

it was that I wanted more than this occasion could offer.
I wanted a deeper bed of pleasure.

Bed of Deeper Pleasure - Peter Malakoff
00:0000:00
Music: Wednesday Night by David Dykstra

To feel you feeling me when you first called

out of the blue of infinite possibilities

Was a feeling I enjoyed

 

Like finding a treasure on a beach where I had been walking

A voice from a face from a being

I remember first

for your noble forehead

sweet demeanor, lovely smile and young, beautiful, shapely body

 

I first sought to help and serve you

without any other motive

But, wonder of life as it always is, you called me

before the day was done

asking if I would like to go out with you that very evening

 

Full of adventure you were

and wonderful daring to do such a thing

and I was very glad that you did

 

Like a present under the tree at Christmas

Your invitation so full of promise

 

And it is true

 

I felt how much I would like to unwrap your gift of God's giving

and admire it all undone and free of coverings

But like any gift of substance

to fully take it in

to drink with complete appreciation

takes time

 

and

 

although I wondered how it would be

when you felt me feeling you

as we lay down on a bed of body's ease

and I looked and gazed and sweetly stroked your body

your breasts all 'yes' with desirous delight

your lips all soft and moist with yearning

your eyes sparkling like stars

in the sky of your face

 

And we drove across a bridge of wonders

Looking back on a city of lights

and

dancing in the pleasure of each others company

giving and receiving

a man and a woman

a black and a white

old and young

we moved together

and reveled in our differences

 

We ate and talked and I loved to see you laugh

when you let go your fine feminine mummery of reserve

trying to appear all grown up

I loved your youth and naivete

 

I would love to have seen you

when I held you down

grasping your wrists above your head

and firmly explore what lay beyond all your holding back

as we both yielded to what is greater

 

but to go to this far land

takes time

for no great gift is given or can be taken or appreciated in a hurry

all things take time and patience to enjoy to their fullest

 

And so, until then

I will wait upon the Grace of God

as I have always done

and

as we all do and must

 

when time may lay out for us

like a long beach on an afternoon of possibility

a night of splendor

and a shared bed of deeper pleasure

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TIBETAN WHEEL OF LIFE:  

 

 I visited Ladakh in 2016. It is the Indian part of the Tibetan Plateau, containing many of the oldest Buddhist monasteries on the Tibetan Plateau. At the entrance of every monastery, on the right-hand wall, is painted an image called the ‘Wheel of Life,’ a comprehensive summary of Buddha’s teaching in picture form made for a predominantly illiterate culture. 

 

The Wheel of Life illustrates the co-dependently (one thing always depending on another) arising, inevitable, always and only temporary, ever alternating, ‘good,’ ‘bad,’ pleasurable and painful karmas of birth and death, youth and old age, disease and health, heaven and hell. 

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The Wheel of Life illustrates the karmas (actions and destinies) of men, gods, demi-gods, demons, and animals, portraying the path of every sentient being that is bound upon this wheel. The Wheel is held in the hands of the ‘demon’ ‘Kala’ or time, a demon crowned with five skulls, representing the five elements (ether, air, fire, water, and earth) of which all and everything exists.

 

After Buddha was enlightened underneath the Bodhi tree, he thought he would not teach because what he had to say was not understood or interesting to others. In the Pali Canon, it is recorded that Buddha said:

 

“This Dharma I have realized is profound, hard to see and difficult to understand, full of peace and sublime, unattainable by mere reasoning, subtle and capable of being experienced only by the wise . . . But this generation delights in worldliness (attachment), takes delight in worldliness, and rejoices in worldliness. It is hard for such people to see this truth, namely, inevitable conditionality (everything includes its opposite) and co-dependent origination (nothing has a self-nature; it is all caused by a combination of other things; there is no 'self), and it is hard to see the truth, namely; that the stilling of all desires, the relinquishing of all attachments, the destruction of craving, dispassion, and cessation is Nirvana. If I were to teach the Dharma, others would not understand me, and that would be wearying and troublesome.

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Seeing his hesitation, the gods implored him to teach, if only for the sake of the few who might be prepared and to help others know the truth of Reality. It was only at their urging that Buddha acquiesced and began his teaching mission to ‘Turn the Wheel of the Dharma.’ 

 

His very first Teaching was 'The Four Noble Truths’ and the very first ‘Truth’: ’Life is Dukkha (suffering).’ Suffering was inevitable and inherent in this world, and without awakening to this Truth, no one would ever be interested in the Teaching of freedom from suffering. (This is why Buddha was hesitant to teach.) 

 

If one were not clear that every life was limited and all beings and things were bound to the wheel of cause and effect, a wheel held by time, that they were going to die and lose everything and everyone, then they would be primarily motivated to seek pleasure and/or fulfill their various desires. Buddha did not teach ‘Buddhism,’ for the sake of any kind of fulfillment of the 'self'; rather, he taught the transcendence of 'self.' Buddha taught that a person must first discover that the ‘Truth’ of life is inevitable suffering because only then, impressed with the suffering nature of all of existence, would they ever be moved to practice the Way. (See: The Cure of the Mustard Seed)

An Example from the Wheel of Life: 

The image above displays only the center of the Wheel of Life, which shows people rising up to the pure realms by doing good deeds, helping each other, giving to others, and practicing as monks. However, because the fruits of every action are limited, the fruits of their actions are eventually exhausted. Then, they fall from their exalted state. This is why it is called the 'Wheel of Life,’ it is always turning like a wheel where what was up turns into what is down, and what is down becomes up; on and on it goes. This is why there are Buddhas shown to the upper right and upper left of the image, indicating that the Buddha’s teaching is not merely a benign mortal teaching of how to succeed in life (on the wheel); instead, it is a Transcendental Teaching, and its Truth exists outside and beyond the Wheel of Life.

​

Everything I have written is done in recognition of this Wheel. . .

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